My friend told me this , he say life always have ups and down and there's a period of time your life will seriously fuck you. But somehow i realise that almost every part of my life is being screwed up. It never once came out the way i wanted or the way i wish and thought it would be. Holding on hopes and end up getting nothing , i have enough of such feeling. This feeling is making me numb and tired . I wish i could dive underwater and hide myself from reality . Yes , i'm a coward , not because i'm scare is because i know i couldn't accept what i'm facing now and in future. I'm here saying this is not because i want anyone to pity me . But i wish i could have a place to pour out my feeling . I didn't go to my friends because i'm too hurt to speak , i rather type. Who will really understand ? Would it be the one i love . I'm sorry i'm not superwoman i'm made up from blood and flesh i have feelings after all.